Stress is a part of everyday life. As a working parent, you know how stressful life can be, and it is hard to juggle parenting and work.
In this post, you will find tips for relieving stress and anxiety.
What is Anxiety?
Anxiety is an alarm system in your body that is supposed to go off when you encounter real danger.
For example, let us say that as you read this article, you start to smell smoke, and you look up and see fire. A couple of things would happen immediately; your mind would focus on getting away from the fire and getting help.
Next, you would get a burst of energy to move quickly. This is wonderful if you are in life-or-death danger.
Why does anxiety prevent you from moving forward?
This same cycle happens if you are anxious about an upcoming work project, worried about an argument you had with your spouse last night, or wonder how you will pay that forthcoming bill.
When you start worrying, your mind will focus on what is causing you stress. You may notice yourself becoming consumed with your stress and worry. Telling yourself not to be worried or stressed often doesn’t help. Instead, you need to bring your focus elsewhere.
Benefits of Managing Your Anxiety
Learning how to manage the stress/anxiety cycle can help you be more present, benefit your health, and bring you a greater sense of peace and calm.
Sometimes, people have been running on the stress cycle for so long that they have tapped out their adrenals and only feel tired and jittery. That jittery but exhausted feeling is an overrun stress cycle. Your body is not meant to constantly be in the fight, flight, or freeze cycle.
Tips to Help with Anxiety
Catch your what-if thinking
Thinking what-if activates the stress cycle. Your body does not know the difference between real danger and perceived danger.
If you worry about something coming up in the future, even the future happening one minute from now, your body will start to respond as if you are in danger right now.
The same stress cycle occurs regardless of whether you are in physical danger or thinking what-if thoughts.
How to catch your what-if thinking
When you catch yourself thinking what-if thoughts, bring your attention back to the present moment.
You can bring your thoughts back to the present moment. Look around you and find something in the room that you have never noticed.
For example, you may see a color in a painting you didn’t recognize or scuff marks on the floor. Once you have returned to the present moment, focus on something you can accomplish. If there is nothing to accomplish in this moment, bring your focus back to something fun like a podcast or the smell of your coffee.
To recap, when you hear those what-if thoughts, thank them for stopping by and then return to helpful and positive actions.
Avoid catastrophizing
To help reduce your anxiety and the level of stress you are experiencing, avoid catastrophizing.
Catastrophizing is thinking and focusing on the worst possible outcomes. It is thinking in absolutes.
How to avoid thinking of the worst
Ask yourself about the best, worst, and most likely outcomes. Things are often less doom and gloom than we would have ourselves believe.
Is there something you have control over take action to make your situation better? Sometimes, we can fail to take action because we are upset with ourselves for not taking action sooner. Let that go and start now.
Add movement to your day
For most of us, the stress cycle is activated daily just from the pressures of everyday life. Movement can help your body disperse that extra energy.
Get creative about adding movement to your life.
How to add movement to your day
Here are some ideas for adding movement to your daily routine.
- Go for a walk while you are on the phone
- Stand up, do ten jumping jacks, take a deep breath, sit back down
- Take a mental break by walking around your work building or your block
- Take the stairs instead of an elevator
- Use a standing desk
- Stretch or lift weights while watching electronics
- Dance break: Young kids love dance breaks
- Do calf raises while brushing your teeth
- After every hour of sitting, get up and move; take this time to get water or take a deep breath
- Do squats or lunges while waiting for your food to heat in the microwave
- Use a handbasket at the grocery store instead of a cart
- When connecting with a friend, connect over exercise such as a walk
- Practice balance exercises such as standing on one leg
- Pull some weeds as you walk into your house
Speak kindly to yourself
It is hard being a working parent. Adulting is hard. Pay attention to how you speak to yourself.
I have worked with many clients who have shared, “Everything will only get done if I am hard on myself.” I would like to challenge this notion. Can you just get started without berating yourself and using unkind self-talk?
I have also worked with clients for which the opposite is true. They really struggle to get started because they are worried about failing if they do try. Unkind thoughts and worries of failure consume their mind.
You lose a lot of time when you put pressure on yourself through negative self-talk. You may find yourself procrastinating and not prioritizing your most important tasks. You may find your self-esteem in the toilet because you keep repeating unkind words that were said to you by someone in the past. Hateful self-talk steals your joy.
How to speak kindly to yourself
Here are some examples of what it sounds like when you speak kindly to yourself.
“I am going to do the best I can.”
“I am going to get started and see what happens.”
“Yes, that didn’t go as well as I hoped. How can I use the feedback to meet my targets and goals?”
“I know so and so said that thing about me, but I don’t have to take it in. That is their opinion; it doesn’t have to be mine.”
“I have done this before, and I received positive feedback.”
“I did a lot today, just not what I expected.”
“Yup, that didn’t go as I hoped, and that is OKAY.”
“I will start again tomorrow.”
Look at how you process feedback
If you make a mistake or someone offers their feedback, how do you receive it?
Feedback is a part of everyday life. Giving and receiving feedback is an integral part of excellence. It does not mean you are defective or your idea is not welcome if you receive less than positive feedback. It is a process of life, and we get to decide how we take in the information.
How to process feedback
Step 1: Look at your source.
Does the person offering feedback have your best interests and your team’s in mind? Is it someone you respect and trust? If the input comes from a reliable source, can you take it in as information instead of a personal attack?
Step 2: If you trust the person and they have you and your team’s best interest at heart, consider the feedback you were given.
See the input as purely informational and not about who you are as a person. It is often not personal. Ask yourself, “How can this feedback improve my outcome?” Consider whether you can use it to achieve even better results.
What to do if the source is not reliable
If the person providing feedback is not a reliable source or is the person always complaining and providing unhelpful feedback to everyone on the team, you don’t have to take in that feedback. Let the input slide off of you like a non-stick pan. Just say, “Thank you for the feedback. I will take that into consideration.” Then, give it no more of your attention. Not everyone is a reliable source of feedback.
Recognize if you are putting undue pressure on yourself
You know the feeling when you start thinking of a task, and you can feel your body tighten. This is a sign you may be putting undue pressure on yourself.
How to recognize if you are putting undue pressure on yourself
Notice when you feel your body tighten and hear your mind racing with thoughts of perfection.
You can also recognize the undue pressure you are putting on yourself by paying attention to your thoughts.
Pressure thoughts:
“I am the only one who can…”
“I must do well.”
“I don’t know, this feels too hard”
“My boss, friend, or partner will be…”
“I have to finish this project by tomorrow, or I’ll lose my job.”
”If I don’t impress my boss in this presentation, my career will be over.”
“I have to make my partner happy all the time, or they’ll leave me.”
“If I don’t do everything perfectly for my child, I’ll be a bad parent.”
“I have to get rid of my anxiety, or I’ll never be happy.”
How to stop putting pressure on yourself
When you find yourself thinking this way, take a step back and focus on what is within your control.
Become mindful. Undue pressure can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. This happens because anxiety makes it harder for us to think and focus.
You may not be able to stop all of your worried thoughts. Instead, take your mind off your worry and focus on the task at hand. Every time you hear those worried thoughts go through your mind let it float on by like a cloud giving it none of your attention.
It can often help just to start the task. Worry about the outcome later and allow yourself to get started.
Create to-do lists
Something that can add to your stress and anxiety is keeping your to-do lists and tasks inside your mind. Constantly trying not to forget something takes mental space and energy.
How to create to-do lists
Have a place where you can write reminders to yourself and keep track of important details. Creating systems on your phone can help since it is most likely always with you. If you have a lot on your list, create sections for “today,” “this week,” and “this month.” Dividing your list in this way helps to keep you from getting overwhelmed. If you find it helpful, create a notification on your phone to remind you to check on your list.
Take a social media break
Social media gives us a false sense of reality. People often post their best moments on social media, and we see so many curated images that we begin to believe everyone else is living their best life.
How to take a social media break
Allow yourself to take a break from social media’s constant influence. See how it improves your mood. Try picking one day a week or one day a month to spend time away from social media. This time away from social media can help you focus on your values and goals without being influenced by advertisements and other pressures.
Cadey is Here to Help
Reducing stress and anxiety doesn’t have to be another thing on your to-do list.
Here at Cadey, we hope you enjoyed this list of tips you can easily add to your daily routine. Your Cadey mobile app has videos you can watch and practice to help you conquer the stress and anxiety cycle. Recent Cadey webinars are also helpful.